One Month

Today is my one month “Sobervesity”. Yes I’ve been sober for a month. And how did I reward myself?

Yup that’s right

C25K W1D2

Mental!!

But I got through it and finished just as my phone died. Fortunately It was saved in the shutting down so I don’t have to repeat it. Did better today than the first day but that’s thanks to advice I’ve had from others who have completed (or started but not finished) C25K.

So back to the “Soberversity”. I’ve had “Congratulations” and “Well Done” and “Proud of you” from loads of people today. Most of them from the Club Soda Together Facebook page but also some from family and friends in the know.

But…. I feel a fraud.

Why?

After 20+ years of serious day to day drinking I had my last drink a month ago last night. Gave up just like that. No withdrawal symptoms and no cravings. I’ve done nothing but stop drinking. It’s not put me through the wringer (for which I am honestly thankful) and I don’t feel like I need a drink.

I’ve just stopped.

I’ve seen loads of posts from people who are truly struggling to give up and suffering in the process. Some of them weren’t even as bad as me but they’re finding it difficult.

Some of them are taking it “one day at a time” (I hate that phrase btw. An invitation to failure if ever there was one) whereas I know that I’m not drinking ever again. Is that maybe what it is?

“Let’s take this one day at a time.” translates to “I’m OK today but maybe tomorrow I won’t be. Yeah that’s good. I’m fine today.” All the time though throughout today they’re worrying about tomorrow. Maybe not at the front of their mind but somewhere back there in the subconcious is a little voice saying “Maybe tomorrow I’ll have a drink.”

I don’t have that. I know I’m not drinking tomorrow so I’ve got nothing to worry about drinking wise. Sure I’ve got other things to worry about but drinking isn’t going to change them for the better so it’s not an option.

Pure and simple.

I DON’T DRINK ALCOHOL.

Bit of a rambling post today. I might edit it a bit tomorrow.

#LovingLifeAgain

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